i did it

i did it...i broke down and got facebook. i wasn't going to-ever, I hate the facebook. it is a crazy maker. but once my dad, uncle, and brother told me they were on it i decided it was time. iam a sell-out. officially speaking.

Video from Perez Hilton

So I watched this video that Perez Hilton put up on Twitter and thought it was very interesting. It is a video of some urban black youth harassing a twenty to thirty-something white gay man.

watch the video:

I think the power differentials going on here are very interesting. Of course I am against hate speech towards the gays but I don't think that it is necessarily fair to show the youth in the video in this way. I am not going to write a whole heck of a lot about it here...I just don't have the energy, but I would hope that people wouldn't see this and automatically assume that all black people are like this and hate the gays because I just don't think that's true, especially because I saw so many queers of color at PRIDE in Denver this weekend. But I have a feeling that videos like this one are problematic in perpetuating racial and class stereotypes. But I do think the guy experiencing the harassment has at the very least waaaaaaay more patients and guts to stay quiet then say me. Non-confrontational has never been my style.

Movies

One movie I hate, one movie I love:

He's Just Not That Into You

Rating: Double/Triple Bleh

This was one of the dumbest movies I have ever seen. I get so frustrated with all of these supposed post-feminist, women inspiring, girl-power movies that end up falling flat on the face of women's liberation and feminism. Why is it that in the end everyone ends up generally in a relationship (it isn't just this movie I'm thinking Sex and the City also) like being alone isn't a satisfying enough choice? This movie is a projection of women's insecurities around being alone, and while being in love is like an accessory to your girlfriends, what do the women in this movie talk to their girlfriends about? Love, marriage, men, relationships, not giving up on finding love, all of this stuff that-many things women pretend are not significant, yet give all significance to. All the while this movie appears that the women are somewhat in control of this, their discussions about these things liberate them, but they don't. Instead all of the women are at the mercy of the men in their lives. And the storyline I felt was actually good between Jennifer Aniston and Ben Affleck totally succumbs to the whole heterosexual life pattern although they supposedly were going to be fine not being married and going through the whole production of marriage. This movie was about a half-hour too long, and yes it's one of those movies where they showed all the good parts in the previews.

Everything Relative

Rating: Three Whoots

I think maybe I have written about this movie before but I don't remember-either way it deserves its praise here. This independent lesbian film is truly a classic of queer cinema. As with most lesbian movies it is full of cheesy dialogue and awkward moments, but that is what makes it great. This movie isn't trying to be something it's not, instead it wants to focus on issues faced by a group of friends who were old college friends, detailing the ways in which they used to be on the front-lines of political activism but have now had to convert to making their personal lives the root of their politics. It drags up issues from the past between the friends who were once lovers, reluctance of some to be fully out, dealing with death, the straight woman's attempt to become pregnant, dealing with families, loss, grief, and memory. And of course in true old-school (and for some more modern) lesbian fashion it is complete with sing-alongs and vibrators. I'm not gonna say this is a great work of cinematography and movie-making, but the plot is there, it has the potential to be very relate-able, and it does get political, in that it talks about race (although the majority of the main cast is white though Jewish), the religious right, class, sexuality, abortion, coming-out...all interesting stuff. Anyway, I loved it wish I would have watched it sooner than I had, and it will continue to be on my top list of lesbo films from now on.

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Clip from Everything Relative

Elk Calf Goes to Preschool

The following video is of my preschool and a baby elk that was born right by it a couple of weeks ago now. I think it is cute and funny and you can actually see me (as if that were the most important thing) in the background of the "teacher" shot. I will probably never see an elk calf and cow that close again in my life and I actually have some great photos of it suckling the mama and the mama stepping on its head (it was an accident.) So enjoy!

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Meg Hutchinson

So I recently made two awesome cd's for people-because that's what I do...

An artist recommended for my tastes via Itunes Genius was Meg Hutchinson. Granted I am always leery about recommendations but I really like what she has to offer. Simple lyrics (I am a lyrics girl for sure) about simple natural landscapes and elements. Two of my favorite songs of hers are I'd Like to Know Someone and Seeing Stars. I think Seeing Stars is one of those songs that describes a moment when you realize you are generally content and able to see something beautiful among everything that makes you upset, makes you feel violated, or insignificant in some way. I think that readily describes my move from Columbus, a grand city with many fine offerings, but also lonliness, sadness, and depression to Colorado. I can't say that my entire time has been easy or peaceful, there are so many moments when life is not these things-no matter where I am, but at least I can plant a garden, go hang out at the lake with Little Boats, take my dog somewhere nice-like my porch, and see something beautiful. And in these moments I feel the utmost queer sensation-happiness and pleasure. Things I write about but quickly dismiss when it doesn't relate to sexuality or orientation or desire. But what about peace, isn't it queer to feel peace? To feel joy when queer people are told they shouldn't? Is desire for happiness synonymous with conformity? I have to believe it isn't for my own sanity.

So I offer two songs by Meg Hutchinson that give me peace, make me think of good friends and the fortune of simplicity.

Seeing Stars

Bugs out on the water, make it look like rain
Leaves on every tree, once again turning
Summer’s past but it’s never far
If you look real close you might see scars
But me, yeah me I’m only seeing stars

Evening light, on a gravel path
I could be scared but I’ve had enough of that
Oh, big old moon, rising up
Even in this light you might see scars
But me, yeah me I’m only seeing stars

When they take everything
And you’ve got nothing left
A deer in the headlights in your hospital bed
Just dreaming of a simple life
A gentle man, a solid night
Me and the dog, down at the reservoir
If you look real close you might see scars
But me, yeah me I’m only seeing stars
Oh…

Seems all your songs are about leaving
Seems both your hands are about now
Geese up in the sky, home through the dark
If you look real close you might see scars

But me, yeah me I’m only seeing stars

and...

I'd Like to Know Someone

I’d like to know someone
Who’s known months without sun
I’d like to know someone
Who’s learned how to sleep
When the night’s still bright
I’d like to know someone
Who comes from the mountains
Like a wall against my waves
I’d like to know someone
Who knows the quiet time
After the song is sung

Cause I’m quick to love
Quicker to tire
I’m looking for a slower burn
A better kind of fire

I’d like to know someone
With music in their lungs
I’d like to know someone
Who lets stuff off the hook
Throw back the little ones

And when you’re not afraid to stay
I won’t be afraid of morning
And when you’re not afraid to say
I’ll never be afraid, to listen

I’d like to know someone
Who knows I came undone once
I’d like to know someone
Who knows deep where they come from

continuing...

12.) gardening-I really love this past time although I thought I never would. I am not a big fan of worms but I can deal with them to fill in the pit outside my house with flowers. Yay!!! Summer time and gardening.

11.) Yoga in the morning. As with sun salutation yoga in the morning is awesome. It is actually helping my back, calming my tension. This may have to be one that continues into the next school year.

These are a few of my favorite things...

So finally-whew its been a loooong two years!  Finally I have finished my classes for my M.A. although I still have to take exams in the winter.  But now it is summer and finally I am taking a small break-only to return to school work.  But in the past couple of days I have been able to experience the summer and it has helped me remember to experience life a bit.  So I have made a list of some of my favorite things.

10.) 30 rock.  I love this show.  I am Liz Lemmon as embarassing as that may be.  And all of the talk about whether or not she is a feminist and whether or not the show is a feminist show or not really bothers me.  Are we still so narrow minded that we can only view feminism in a really specific way?  That bothers me.  Yes Jack comes in to fix things a lot, unfortunately he is the boss and sometimes that's what bosses do-fix problems.  But Liz is still working on finding herself as a head writer for the show that she doesn't always know how to fix everything.  I get the criticism, but lets give props to Tina Fey for creating a really effing funny show that deals with race, class, gender, and sexuality.  It's not perfect-few things are, let's take a gem when it comes along.

9.) New Moon on CD.  I have been listening to it and I like it a lot.  I am obviously a bit far behind in the whole saga reading thing but it always takes me awhile to jump onto a pop culture phenomenon.  It is a much better book/story than Twilight.  Twilight is basically, in my mind, like When God Writes Your Love Story with Vampires.  The second book goes much more in depth into the story adds new characters and the whole *spoiler alert* werewolf thing. I love Jacob.  I want him to win out in the end but I know that won't happen.  Even though Bella is still the lamest female character ever, the story is interesting.  For an awesome female lead read His Dark Materials-much better.  But I think New Moon gonna make a neat movie.

8.) Grilling.  I eat meat now and it's good!  I love eating grilled meat and eating outside although it is quite cold these days.  Cooking outside is so awesome-I forgot its pleasure since I finally own my first grill.  Plus with grilling comes all sorts of vegetables and fruit (farmer's market what what) in order to make beautiful and colorful meals.

7.) Running/Waking with my dog.  This is funny because it isn't me running and walking the dog, it is more the fact that I run and she looks at me like OMG you are going so slow while she is walking beside me.  It is really funny!

6.) Sun Salutation-I love yoga in general but upon waking doing a few sun salutations to welcome the day is really nice and peaceful.  It allows me to go through my day remembering how great the morning was!

5.) Working at preschool.  The kids can go outside!

4.) Season Four of Weeds.  This show is so ridiculous as per usual-so campy and trampy.  But so far I am loving season four.  Oh if the L Word writer/s could only have done as good of a job-then it would've been AmAzing.  I love the cliffhangers at the end of every episode, it makes me really glad to own the entire season so I can just watch.

3.) Reading for pleasure.  I almost forgot how to do it.  I wanna read Harry Potter with a pen in hand and I have to remind myself not to worry about it.  I also read everything in the voice of the character-thus, it takes me forever to read the parts by Dumbledore.

2.) Blogging.  Funny story huh?

1.) Just Be-Ing.  I am practicing the art of doing nothing.  This may seem idle and selfish, but I feel like we have to take care of ourselves to take care of the world.  We have to breathe, to stop for a moment and realize that we are in a moment, a moment loaded with power, privilege, marginalization, and oppression, but then just Be.  Not all the time, but on occasion.