Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Movies

One movie I hate, one movie I love:

He's Just Not That Into You
Rating: Double/Triple Bleh

This was one of the dumbest movies I have ever seen. I get so frustrated with all of these supposed post-feminist, women inspiring, girl-power movies that end up falling flat on the face of women's liberation and feminism. Why is it that in the end everyone ends up generally in a relationship (it isn't just this movie I'm thinking Sex and the City also) like being alone isn't a satisfying enough choice? This movie is a projection of women's insecurities around being alone, and while being in love is like an accessory to your girlfriends, what do the women in this movie talk to their girlfriends about? Love, marriage, men, relationships, not giving up on finding love, all of this stuff that-many things women pretend are not significant, yet give all significance to. All the while this movie appears that the women are somewhat in control of this, their discussions about these things liberate them, but they don't. Instead all of the women are at the mercy of the men in their lives. And the storyline I felt was actually good between Jennifer Aniston and Ben Affleck totally succumbs to the whole heterosexual life pattern although they supposedly were going to be fine not being married and going through the whole production of marriage. This movie was about a half-hour too long, and yes it's one of those movies where they showed all the good parts in the previews.

Everything Relative
Rating: Three Whoots

I think maybe I have written about this movie before but I don't remember-either way it deserves its praise here. This independent lesbian film is truly a classic of queer cinema. As with most lesbian movies it is full of cheesy dialogue and awkward moments, but that is what makes it great. This movie isn't trying to be something it's not, instead it wants to focus on issues faced by a group of friends who were old college friends, detailing the ways in which they used to be on the front-lines of political activism but have now had to convert to making their personal lives the root of their politics. It drags up issues from the past between the friends who were once lovers, reluctance of some to be fully out, dealing with death, the straight woman's attempt to become pregnant, dealing with families, loss, grief, and memory. And of course in true old-school (and for some more modern) lesbian fashion it is complete with sing-alongs and vibrators. I'm not gonna say this is a great work of cinematography and movie-making, but the plot is there, it has the potential to be very relate-able, and it does get political, in that it talks about race (although the majority of the main cast is white though Jewish), the religious right, class, sexuality, abortion, coming-out...all interesting stuff. Anyway, I loved it wish I would have watched it sooner than I had, and it will continue to be on my top list of lesbo films from now on.
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Clip from Everything Relative


Thursday, June 18, 2009

Elk Calf Goes to Preschool

The following video is of my preschool and a baby elk that was born right by it a couple of weeks ago now. I think it is cute and funny and you can actually see me (as if that were the most important thing) in the background of the "teacher" shot. I will probably never see an elk calf and cow that close again in my life and I actually have some great photos of it suckling the mama and the mama stepping on its head (it was an accident.) So enjoy!




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Monday, June 15, 2009

Meg Hutchinson

So I recently made two awesome cd's for people-because that's what I do...

An artist recommended for my tastes via Itunes Genius was Meg Hutchinson. Granted I am always leery about recommendations but I really like what she has to offer. Simple lyrics (I am a lyrics girl for sure) about simple natural landscapes and elements. Two of my favorite songs of hers are I'd Like to Know Someone and Seeing Stars. I think Seeing Stars is one of those songs that describes a moment when you realize you are generally content and able to see something beautiful among everything that makes you upset, makes you feel violated, or insignificant in some way. I think that readily describes my move from Columbus, a grand city with many fine offerings, but also lonliness, sadness, and depression to Colorado. I can't say that my entire time has been easy or peaceful, there are so many moments when life is not these things-no matter where I am, but at least I can plant a garden, go hang out at the lake with Little Boats, take my dog somewhere nice-like my porch, and see something beautiful. And in these moments I feel the utmost queer sensation-happiness and pleasure. Things I write about but quickly dismiss when it doesn't relate to sexuality or orientation or desire. But what about peace, isn't it queer to feel peace? To feel joy when queer people are told they shouldn't? Is desire for happiness synonymous with conformity? I have to believe it isn't for my own sanity.

So I offer two songs by Meg Hutchinson that give me peace, make me think of good friends and the fortune of simplicity.

Seeing Stars

Bugs out on the water, make it look like rain
Leaves on every tree, once again turning
Summer’s past but it’s never far
If you look real close you might see scars
But me, yeah me I’m only seeing stars

Evening light, on a gravel path
I could be scared but I’ve had enough of that
Oh, big old moon, rising up
Even in this light you might see scars
But me, yeah me I’m only seeing stars

When they take everything
And you’ve got nothing left
A deer in the headlights in your hospital bed
Just dreaming of a simple life
A gentle man, a solid night
Me and the dog, down at the reservoir
If you look real close you might see scars
But me, yeah me I’m only seeing stars
Oh…

Seems all your songs are about leaving
Seems both your hands are about now
Geese up in the sky, home through the dark
If you look real close you might see scars

But me, yeah me I’m only seeing stars





and...
I'd Like to Know Someone

I’d like to know someone
Who’s known months without sun
I’d like to know someone
Who’s learned how to sleep
When the night’s still bright
I’d like to know someone
Who comes from the mountains
Like a wall against my waves
I’d like to know someone
Who knows the quiet time
After the song is sung

Cause I’m quick to love
Quicker to tire
I’m looking for a slower burn
A better kind of fire

I’d like to know someone
With music in their lungs
I’d like to know someone
Who lets stuff off the hook
Throw back the little ones

And when you’re not afraid to stay
I won’t be afraid of morning
And when you’re not afraid to say
I’ll never be afraid, to listen

I’d like to know someone
Who knows I came undone once
I’d like to know someone
Who knows deep where they come from


Tuesday, June 9, 2009

continuing...

12.) gardening-I really love this past time although I thought I never would. I am not a big fan of worms but I can deal with them to fill in the pit outside my house with flowers. Yay!!! Summer time and gardening.

11.) Yoga in the morning. As with sun salutation yoga in the morning is awesome. It is actually helping my back, calming my tension. This may have to be one that continues into the next school year.

Monday, June 8, 2009

These are a few of my favorite things...

So finally-whew its been a loooong two years!  Finally I have finished my classes for my M.A. although I still have to take exams in the winter.  But now it is summer and finally I am taking a small break-only to return to school work.  But in the past couple of days I have been able to experience the summer and it has helped me remember to experience life a bit.  So I have made a list of some of my favorite things.

10.) 30 rock.  I love this show.  I am Liz Lemmon as embarassing as that may be.  And all of the talk about whether or not she is a feminist and whether or not the show is a feminist show or not really bothers me.  Are we still so narrow minded that we can only view feminism in a really specific way?  That bothers me.  Yes Jack comes in to fix things a lot, unfortunately he is the boss and sometimes that's what bosses do-fix problems.  But Liz is still working on finding herself as a head writer for the show that she doesn't always know how to fix everything.  I get the criticism, but lets give props to Tina Fey for creating a really effing funny show that deals with race, class, gender, and sexuality.  It's not perfect-few things are, let's take a gem when it comes along.

9.) New Moon on CD.  I have been listening to it and I like it a lot.  I am obviously a bit far behind in the whole saga reading thing but it always takes me awhile to jump onto a pop culture phenomenon.  It is a much better book/story than Twilight.  Twilight is basically, in my mind, like When God Writes Your Love Story with Vampires.  The second book goes much more in depth into the story adds new characters and the whole *spoiler alert* werewolf thing. I love Jacob.  I want him to win out in the end but I know that won't happen.  Even though Bella is still the lamest female character ever, the story is interesting.  For an awesome female lead read His Dark Materials-much better.  But I think New Moon gonna make a neat movie.

8.) Grilling.  I eat meat now and it's good!  I love eating grilled meat and eating outside although it is quite cold these days.  Cooking outside is so awesome-I forgot its pleasure since I finally own my first grill.  Plus with grilling comes all sorts of vegetables and fruit (farmer's market what what) in order to make beautiful and colorful meals.

7.) Running/Waking with my dog.  This is funny because it isn't me running and walking the dog, it is more the fact that I run and she looks at me like OMG you are going so slow while she is walking beside me.  It is really funny!

6.) Sun Salutation-I love yoga in general but upon waking doing a few sun salutations to welcome the day is really nice and peaceful.  It allows me to go through my day remembering how great the morning was!

5.) Working at preschool.  The kids can go outside!

4.) Season Four of Weeds.  This show is so ridiculous as per usual-so campy and trampy.  But so far I am loving season four.  Oh if the L Word writer/s could only have done as good of a job-then it would've been AmAzing.  I love the cliffhangers at the end of every episode, it makes me really glad to own the entire season so I can just watch.

3.) Reading for pleasure.  I almost forgot how to do it.  I wanna read Harry Potter with a pen in hand and I have to remind myself not to worry about it.  I also read everything in the voice of the character-thus, it takes me forever to read the parts by Dumbledore.

2.) Blogging.  Funny story huh?

1.) Just Be-Ing.  I am practicing the art of doing nothing.  This may seem idle and selfish, but I feel like we have to take care of ourselves to take care of the world.  We have to breathe, to stop for a moment and realize that we are in a moment, a moment loaded with power, privilege, marginalization, and oppression, but then just Be.  Not all the time, but on occasion.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Words of Wisdom on the PhD

I received this as an e-mail and I think it is interesting and helpful.  don't know what happened to points 1-6.  But I think it is interesting to think about all of those things they don't tell us in graduate school and the things we should know upon leaving.
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The posting below gives some excellent - and at the same time humorous - advice on completing your PhD. . It is Chapter 2 - The PhD, in the book What They Didn't Teach You in Graduate School: 199 Helpful Hints for Success in Your Academic Career by Paul Gray and David E. Drew. who are professors at Claremont Graduate University in California, one in information systems and the other in education. Between them they were students in 6 graduate programs, taught full time at 7 universities, and mentored over 50 PhDs, many of whom are now tenured professors. Copyright 2008 by Stylus Publishing, LLC. Cartoons copyright 2008 by Matthew Henry Hall. Published by Stylus Publishing , LLC, 22883 Quicksilver Drive Sterling, Virginia 20166-2102.

It can be argued that you do job hunting (the subject of chapter 3) before you receive the PhD. However, the PhD is the prize you seek above all from your graduate experience. We therefore discuss it first.

(editors note: the numbering does indeed start at #7).

7. Finish your PhD as early as possible. Don't feel that you need to create the greatest work that Western civilization ever saw. Five years from now the only thing that will matter is whether you finished. If you don't finish, you are likely to join the ranks of "freeway flyers," holding multiple part-time teaching jobs.

8. Be humble about your PhD. You don't need to flaunt the degree. Everyone has one. Many of your colleagues, both in your institution and outside it, will be put off if you sign everything "Doctor" or "Jane Jones, PhD" In fact, the main use for Doctor is making reservations at a restaurant. When you call and ask for a table for four for Doctor Jones, you will get more respect and often better seating.

9. Remember that a PhD is primarily an indication of survivorship. Although the public at large may view your doctorate as a superb intellectual achievement and a reflection of brilliance, you probably know deep in your heart that it is not. It represents a lot of hard work on your part over a long period of time. You probably received help from one or more faculty to get over rough spots. Your family, be it parents or spouse, stayed with you over the vicissitudes of creating the dissertation. You stuck with it until it was done, unlike the ABDs (All But Dissertation), people who complete all the other requirements but bail out before they finish their dissertations.

10. A PhD is a certification of research ability based on a sample of 1. The PhD certifies that you are able to do quality research. Unlike the MD, which requires extensive work with patients followed by years of internship and residency, the PhD is based on a single sample, your dissertation. The people who sign your dissertation are making a large bet on your ability to do quality research again and again in the future.

11. A PhD is a license to reproduce and an obligation to maintain the quality of your intellectual descendants. Once you are a PhD, it is possible for you (assuming you are working in an academic department that offers a PhD program) to create new PhDs. Even if your department does not offer a PhD, you can be called upon to sit on PhD examining committees either in your own or in neighboring institutions. This is a serious responsibility because you are creating your intellectual descendants. Recognize that if you vote to pass someone who is marginal or worse, that PhD in turn is given the same privilege. If candidates are not up to standard, it is likely that some of their descendants will also not be. Unlike humans whose intergeneration time is 20 years, academic intergeneration times are 5 years or less. Furthermore, a single individual may supervise 50 or more PhDs over a 30-year career.

12. You must have the PhD in hand before you can move up the academic ladder. The world is full of ABDs. We talked about them briefly in Hint 9 and will again in Hint 161. ABDs may be much abler and more brilliant than you but they didn't possess the stamina (or the circumstances) to finish the degree. In our judgment, being an ABD is the end of the academic line.

13. Be aware that the key danger point in any doctoral program is the one where you leave highly structured coursework (Phase 1) and enter the unstructured world of the qualification examination and the dissertation (Phase 2). Here are two strategies to help you navigate Phase 2:

1. Stay in touch with your professors, especially your adviser. One of us insists that students come in for a meeting each week, even if nothing happened. Just the fear of not being able to report anything stimulates the mind.
2. Meet regularly, ideally every week, for lunch or dinner or afternoon coffee, with two or three fellow graduate students who are also struggling with Phase 2. Compare notes and progress.

14. A special note for the part-time student working on the dissertation. Although all PhD students used to be on campus and often worked as teaching or research assistant part-time, in many fields today that attract midcareer students (for example, education) the norm is to work at an off-campus job full-time and on the PhD part-time. Others, such as computer science students, develop an idea for a start-up company (e.g., one of the founders of Google) and drift from full-time to part-time. We applaud part-time PhD students. This hint is addressed to these students.

If you are working on your PhD part time, you will find it difficult enough in Phase 1 to tell your boss that you can't attend that nighttime budget crisis meeting or tell your spouse that you can't go to your child's soccer game because you must be in class. It is even more difficult when you're in Phase 2 to tell him or her that you won't be there because you must be home, in your study, staring at a black computer screen trying to get past writer's block.

As a part-time student, you need to find ways (in addition to suggestions 1 and 2 in Hint 13) to be physically present on campus. You can do so in many ways, such as spending time writing in a library carrel (1). Physical presence is important psychologically. If you never visit campus and become caught up in your work and family activities, you face the danger that your uncompleted PhD program can begin to seem like something you used to do in a faraway time and place.

15. Avoid Watson's Syndrome. Named by R.J. Gelles, this syndrome is a euphemism for procrastination (2). It involves doing everything possible to avoid completing work. It differs from writer's block in that the sufferer substitutes real work that distracts from doing what is necessary for completing the dissertation or for advancing toward an academic career. The work may be outside or inside the university. Examples given by Gelles include:
* remodeling a house
* a never-ending literature review (after all, new papers are being published all the time and they must be
  referenced)
* data paralysis-making seemingly infinite Statistical Analysis System (SAS) and Statistical Package for
  Social Sciences (SPSS) runs
*  perfectionism that doesn't let you submit until you think it is perfect (and it never is perfect)

If you suffer from Watson's Syndrome, finding a mentor (see Hint 5) who pushes you to finish will help you get done. For many, however, particularly those who always waited until the night before an examination to begin studying, the syndrome is professionally fatal.

16. Celebrate your PhD! When you hand in your signed dissertation and pay the last fee that the university exacts from you, go out and Celebrate! Celebrate! Celebrate! You've achieved something marvelous, and you are one of a very small number in the population who can say you are a PhD. A rough calculation shows that about 3 of 400 adults in the United States hold a PhD. Attaining a PhD is a big deal! Honor that.

A PhD, like life, is a journey. It marks the end of one stage and the beginning of what lies ahead. Don't fail to appreciate the moment of your accomplishment. Yes, other big moments await you. But like almost every PhD, you never had a moment this big, and it will be a long time before you have another one that matches it.
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The library is a large building filled with books and journals. It functions sort of like Google, but deeper.-based on R.J. Gelles, "Watson's Syndrome,"

Saturday, May 30, 2009

2 songs because it's my home stretch

So I am in my last week of my M.A. program and then it will officially be summer.  Time to re-read Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince before the movie comes out and to read New Moon and the other books in the Twilight series.  And of course to work on school papers, communication conference presentations and other things to "get a head start" on my Ph.D.  

It is also summer because my small mountain town has multiplied times ten in the last two weeks with tourists and vacationers.  Its a good thing I live outside city limits and live five minutes away from "the bar."  With this has come bonfires, PBR drinking, and dancing to bluegrass in the wee morning hours.  My friend also just left for Wisconsin last night because she is pregnant and in need of help from her parents.  She announced her marriage last night and we celebrate complete with again campfire, PBR, and bluegrass.  We also took pictures of the happy couple and I think for the first time in my life I was considered a bride's maid.  They danced to Wagon Wheel (Old Crow song) and partied it up.  It was the start to my summer even though I still have a paper to write, and a presentation to give.  

My goal this summer is to live up this mountain living because I may never do it again until I am old and grey.  So it is time for BBQ, hikes, the lake, camping in a new tent, and loving the people around me who have so graciously let me into their lives for the last is it two years (maybe three.)  It's been a blast and I can't wait to make this summer memorable.

So two songs...love songs...for those I love...and for the place I live.

Natalia Zuckerman's, Only Trees
I can't find the lyrics for this song but sometimes we have to experience the performance and shy away from textocentrism.
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Second...
Yellow Brick Road, Kris Delmhorst
This is a song dedicated to me...because yes...everything is about me
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I'm off to see the wizard in his castle on the hill
And I never once have known him and I do not know him still
Because his face it is magnificent but you'll never see his hands
And the way he throws his voice around I don't know where he stands

I'm off to see the wizard with his curtain and his crowd
But my hands are not trembling and my head it is not bowed
Cause I'm not looking for any answers, no truths to be revealed
All that I am asking is to show me something real

I'm not on no yellow brick road, got a mind and a heart and guts of my own
I'm not looking for a one to set me free
I'm not on no yellow brick road, I'll find my own way home
I'm just looking for someone to walk with me

Hey you behind the curtain tell me what is it you see:
From where you sit does it appear that everyone is on their knees?
Their eyes are wide and hopeful and the line grows at the door
Do you sit up there and wonder how you'll ever give them more?

Well I'm not on no yellow brick road, got a mind and a heart and guts of my own
I'm not looking for a one to set me free
I'm not on no yellow brick road, I'll find my own way home
I'm just looking for someone

Don't say that it's not lonely up above the crowd
Don't tell me you don't find yourself longing for the ground
And when I asked him one more time won't you tear the curtain down,
He said don't you know there's nothing here but me,
And I said baby who'd you think I came to see?

I'm not on no yellow brick road, got a mind and a heart and guts of my own
I'm not looking for a one to set me free
I'm not on no yellow brick road, I'll find my own way home
I'm just looking for someone to walk with me
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