Fuckety Fuck Fuck

Lately my life has been what I would call insanity-quite literally in fact. From Sept-now I have lost my self, lost my computer, made bad choices and tried to reclaim myself as a student and a human being. I am having an interstim implant put into my buttocks next week, found out I will have to have a hysterectomy. I feel that the negotiation between illness and school and work is one of those things that sometimes makes me ache more than anything else. At least I have people to lean on, people who care about me. But it's hard, it's hard to be sick and tired and not want to get out of bed but have to in order to compete in a prospering and blossoming field. It isn't fair, life isn't. But I am somewhat wishing for a miracle, maybe it will be the interstim-I have had good things. As you see I have few cohesive thoughts and this is what I have to put out right now. Not much but a bit of an update since I have been off the planet for a bit.