Weds. was my stepfather's funeral. it was one of the saddest and hardest moments of my entire life and my mother wanted me to speak and do part of the family eulogy. It was extremely hard but I thought sort of profound. I realized how different it is losing a grandparent as opposed to a parent. Once one's parents begin to pass it becomes very very serious. At least to me. And very real. while i think death can be peaceful it is also scary how fast it can come on. Smash an aunt, see a coyote carrying a piece of dead animal carcass, or one's body becoming a toxic waste dump. It can move so fast and that is scary. While I wanted death to be fast and I wanted that to be wish, i cry now for maybe wishing it too soon. Anyway, I decided to post the eulogy I read in between the tears and choking back the sobs.
I am Kathryn Hobson and I am Dawn’s daughter and for all intensive purposes Jim’s stepdaughter. I know we have heard from so many and I do not want to put you through too much more, but I want to pay tribute to Jim and his life with my mother and our family, and his life and friends in Estes Park. However, I have found that my own words seem to skim the surface of what he meant to these people. So I am sharing their words in order to make up for my lack.
From Meghan:
When I think about Jim and they type of person he was, the following words come to mind:
Honesty
Compassion
Love
If I let my mind wander, there's always more words I can find that fit the person Jim was, but these were the first words I thought of, so for me, they were the ones that Jim helped teach me the meaning of. These words were more than just values that Jim carried with him everywhere - they were his actions. And although Jim's actions were hardly ever over the top or grandiose, you knew that everything he did came from a place of sincerity.
I had the fortunate opportunity to be a part of the family and home that Jim and Dawn created a few years ago, but the most profound memories I have of Jim were ones where I spent time with him, Dawn, Kathryn, and Liana. Most of these moments surrounded running basic errands or sitting down for a meal. But it was in these everyday moments that I bore witness to something truly amazing. I saw a father who loved his daughters, and a husband who loved his wife. I saw a man who was willing to accept anyone and everyone for who they were. He met you were you were at, and walked beside you as you grew into the person you are today. Jim took me into his home and his family because Dawn and Kathryn had asked him to. He did not know anything about me, but he accepted me from day one. He treated me just like I was another part of his ever expanding family, but I did not ever feel insignificant or unimportant. Quite the opposite really - whenever I was around Jim, he made me feel like I was the most important.
From Jane:
The thing I will miss most about Jim is the way he used to pick on me. He would always find something to tease me about. The artichoke dip, the soufflé, and whether or not I had seen any monkeys lately. I will miss these moments.
From Donna
The Selfless Servant by Jamie Sams
The selflesss servant remembers
the challenges along the way,
but meets each Sun with wonder,
the pleasure of greeting the day.
The joy that fuels the selfless heart
is seeing the changes that come
to every weary traveler that hears
the heart song of Earth Mother's drum.
Affecting the lives of those in need,
With a smile or a helping hand,
brings unseen rewards to the heart
that the selfish do not understand.
Returning to others a percentage
of the abundance we have known
is the sacred wisdom of sharing,
a gift of the seeds we have sown.
Where do we find these servants,
Who choose to selflessly give?
They stand with the Wisdom Keeper,
having remembered,
that to give is to live!
From Lilly:
My favorite memory of Jim would have to be in the mornings. When he would wake me up in the early morning around 6:30 saying time to get up, time to get up. And then later while I was getting ready he would count down how many minutes I would have until we left to school. He would say 20 minutes Mabel and then 15 minutes or 8. I loved waking up to him in the morning, and hearing him blow his nose so loud it would cause an avalanche on Longs Peak.
From John:
Ascension, Colleen Corah Hitchcock
And if I go,
while you're still here...
Know that I live on,
vibrating to a different measure
--behind a thin veil you cannot see through.
You will not see me,
so you must have faith.
I wait for the time when we can soar together again,
--both aware of each other.
Until then, live your life to its fullest.
And when you need me,
Just whisper my name in your heart,
...I will be there.
From anonymous:
I guess in the end I am just lucky to have known him
From Jerry:
In his life time, Jim Martinsen was wise enough and kind enough to lend us, for time immemorial, his good senses about life and how it should be lived. He lays dead but his counsel hardly so! When the grade is steep and treacherous, he will counsel us to dig in and throttle up. When the grade is soft and gentle, he will pour us a glass of wine and raise it towards the heavens. When we reach our own deathbeds, he will call us to relax and join the gentle waters flowing in a direction other than what we have known. You see, Jim Martinsen was more than a husband, father or friend --he was an engineer; he was a planner and a man who could transform a dream into a deed. We need men like him. He gives a whole new meaning to the concept of "after-life"
From me:
I will never forget Jim's smile, his "What do you say________?," His "Kathryn how are you" emphasis on the “are.” I will never forget how he liked to blast the air conditioner in the car, or how he owned a canoe he never used. I will never forget how he and I could run a game of hearts when we played on a team together, practically able to read each other’s minds. I will miss the way that I can no longer just stick a letter on the counter and that it will magically disappear, I will miss that the recycling used to just get done, and that he never complained when I snuck bags of trash into the dumpster. And most of all I will never forget the way he saved me and took care of my mother and I will be eternally grateful for that.
I have walked with many fathers
And none
You were one of them
You have given so much
to so many
And you are dearly loved
Thank you so much for all you have done
Even when I have been a pain in the ass
I promise to keep being smart in school
And keep getting A’s.
Love always,
Your Big K
From Dawn:
I will miss you as the days grow short
And the nights grow long,
I will miss watching the hawks circle our house
As we sat outside on the warm summer evenings
I will miss eating dinner while the snow swirls around
The dining room windows
I will miss the sounds of your making coffee
And the sounds of your quietness
As we spent long lovely quiet days together
I will miss playing cribbage, watching college football and late night movies and
I will miss our good night couple ritual of hugging and exchanging “love you’s “
And most of all
I will miss the empty side of your bed every morning
As I wake to face every day.
And now…
Jill will sing a song that at least to me and hopefully to others here holds some special memories of the last few weeks of Jim’s life.
--
I like to think that this was my performative eulogy, but I am not really sure I did all of these people justice, I hope I did.
