Sunday, November 8, 2009

blogging: or neglecting to blog

I realize I haven't written since Jim's death. At least not on this blog my performance blog
This quarter has been hard. Grief is hard. Especially ambiguous and ambivalent grief. My classes hard and painful. Maybe one day I will post some of my journal in my other blog.

Living in Denver has its ups and downs. I dearly miss my mountains and the peace and relief they give to me. But I like city life, things open past 8 p.m., drinks and dinner with friends, being able to actually get work done because I don't have to drive as much.

I love my job. I work with students in one-on-one consultations where I collaborate with students on how to make their writing improve. I have learned a lot of things myself about my own writing and how I need to improve on some of what I am and have been doing. I really love it, it is very satisfying.

I take my comp exams in about two weeks and I am scared. Scared shitless. I am not prepared, my readings (articles, books etc) are a mess. I have to move my things back to my house in EP for a month or so.

But I am also going to the Bay area. I love that place I have such happy memories although I have only been there one time. That is my treat to myself. My desire is to travel more even if it is just to visit friends in the U.S. I don't need to go anywhere big to feel as though I am at the very least not stagnant.

I have felt it very hard to write. My body feels to raw almost too painful. It will come back one day. One day soon.

I leave for Chicago on Thursday to present at the National Communication Association conference. Another thing I am super nervous about.

So there is a short but sweet update. Me in a nutshell.

1 comment:

Andrea Lach Dean said...

Hey Sweet Gurl. Hang in there. Say hello to 510 for me and PLEASE get some pupusas. Please. I was just thinking of some places or bars to go to. I was like, Oh. 'Maybe I should think of some queer places. And thought of some.' Then I laughed and thought how incredibly queer the nonqueer places in the Bay Area would seem to me right now. God. I have convulsions I'd be so joyful. The love and acceptance in the place... I will never take it for granted again.