What should we give up for someone else...or for love

"Because it is Christmas and at Christmas you tell the truth..." Love Actually, my all time favorite Christmas movie along with the Family Stone...

So I am watching Love Actually and as most of my thoughts usually stem from some piece of media these thoughts stem from this one. My Christmas champagne is bubbling over in the glass and the movie has just began, the opening lines coming from Hugh Grant, "Love actually is all around..." cut to music.

Why this movie...because it is bittersweet. It is real. Maybe not realistic but the emotions it inspires and elicits are both joyous and yet melancholy at the same time, making it real. It seems to bring up the images of lone trees that my mother collects which are hopeful for their survival and yet lonely because they are well alone in the wilderness...and this is often how people feel on holidays. This is the most wonderful time of the year, but not for everyone. Not for the poor who have commercialism thrown down their throats, not those who have recently lost family/friends/pets and have a constant reminder that that entity will not be present for the festivities, nor those who have been through rough break-ups, divorces, periods of growth, transition, and change. For those people the holidays are bittersweet, we are supposed to be happy, but are we supposed to push away our normal everyday feelings in order to make merry during the holiday season? We can't and so we push forth into the holidays with glass of cheap bubbly in hand hoping to combat our angst, guilt, and fear by gorging ourselves on overcooked food, and burying ourselves in holiday cheer.

Back to the movie...why I love it so much. This movie is about people who some get what they want and some don't, but in the end things work out the way they are supposed to or at least for the best at the present time. And it speaks to me because some of them do not do what is best for themselves but what is best for the situation or because they feel immense duty before their own happiness.

The art gallery director who is love with Juliet (Keira Knightley) is able to tell her how he really feels but knows that he isn't going to hurt his best friend or break up their marriage (not yet anyway...). But he gives up his love for her for the best of the situation-he is willing to do that and it is admirable. He doesn't do what makes him happy, he does what appeases his emotions by telling her in the cutest way possible.

Second example Laura Linny's character who when given the chance to sleep with the hot guy in her office decides that she can't because she has to answer the phone from her brother and be there for him in the way he needs. It is sad to see the sacrifice happen-but I think that is a truth that happens. People give up their own desires for happiness in order to do what they see as obligation and duty and I also think that is admirable-sad yes-but admirable also...

So what should we give up or not for someone else or for love-even if that love is platonic or familial and should we give up our own happiness for the well-being of someone else. In certain situations I honestly think we should to an extent. In this society of "do what makes you happy," "do what's best for YOU" it is surprising to find the antithesis of this. And I think it is this melancholia that really describes what the holidays mean for some people...

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Christmas Survey

1 . Wrapping paper or gift bags? I like tissue paper-i just wrap everything crappily in tissue paper
2. Real tree or artificial? Real I live in the mountains...
3. When do you put up the tree? My family puts up between 1-4 trees every year starting after Dec. 11
4. When do you take the tree down? Usually the first week of Jan
5. Do you like eggnog? Yes especially with whiskey
6. Favorite gift received as a child? My Barbie House/car
7. Do you have a Nativity scene? Yes but it is made of animals
8. Hardest person to buy for? Prolly my dad and step mother they are super snobby
9. Easiest person to buy for? My mom-she likes everything I give her
10. Worst Christmas Gift you ever received? This weird brown outfit from my mom one year-I love the clothes she buys me except at Christmas time
11. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail holiday cards
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? White Christmas, National Lampoons, or Home Alone
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Last weekend
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? I have or I use gift cards I got for my birthday to buy others presents
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? I am not a huge fan of holiday food-The Melange Platter
16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Color
17. Favorite Christmas song? All of them, but I have a special place in my heart for Dominick the Donkey, Grown Up Christmas List, and Mistletoe
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Travel the past five years but this one I'm already here and everyone else is leaving-that's kind of weird
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? yes - dasher, dancer, prancer, vixen, comet, cupid, donner, blitzen and the most famous reindeer of all, Rudolph
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? We had this gold wreath thing for years now we have like a Las Vegas Star
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Eve for extended fam (grammas and such) and Morn for immediate fam (mom, Santa, bro and sis)
22. Favorite Christmas cookie? Sour Cream Sugar, but my fam is really famous for their candy...it is soooooo good