hair politics

For some, hair is not a big deal. You get it cut short if you are a boy, trim the ends if you are a girl. Keep your hair as long as possible. Doing this ensures that it can be pulled up, or blown dry in a beautiful way. This is what girls are supposed to do. When I got older and became: 1.) A feminist and 2.) A lesbian, I decided that chopping off my hair would be a statement of my rejection of feminine ideals and would symbolize also, my ability to be sexy without my hair. For people who have known me a long time, they will attest to the fact that my hair has been every length, color, (including shaved, past my shoulders, pink, and now streaked with teal. It has always just been hair to me.

Last summer I began growing my hair. I wanted it to be long enough to put into a pony tail. So I barely cut it for about a year, which is quite the feat for me. It was rather long but also very bushy and dry. I began to get the itch to want to cut it. My friend buzzed her head and I remembered that liberating feeling of not worrying about my hair. Also, in many ways, my hair, wen it was shaved was one of the times I actually felt the most sexy. However, a portion of this came from feeling the urge to wear more eyeliner/makeup, huge earrings, etc.

Something I have discovered about myself: although I am a femme, I am a very low-maintenance femme and find a lot of peace in simplicity and not needing a lot of things, wearing a lot of makeup or expensive things. Part of me feels this because grad school is exhausting and I just cannot devote that much attention to myself and my appearance.

So I decided to cut my hair. This decision was a process in itself and caused several fights among the lady and me. So much anxiety even in writing this about getting rid of something as simple, yet complex as hair. To me, hair is rhetorical. It makes an argument for a certain kind of politics, reflects values, and is ideological. Basically: Hair Matters. It is raced, classed, gendered, reflects sexuality, religion, ethnicity etc. Cutting my hair short means changing the way people might view me, especially in terms of my sexuality. Will having short hair make me more obvious in terms of being outed about being queer? Is this even a bad thing? No, but is that what I want? To me, it is more than hair. It is an identity marker. And although I have never been attached to hair very much before, this whole process makes me realize how big of a deal all of this is to me.


My hair was very thick and hot and I felt like I needed something new. So I cut it. Not pixie-ish, but basically, the Victoria Beckham bob. Then I went camping and didn't see it in a mirror for two days. Coming home, washing, and styling it...I was excited. And the reveal. Argh. First of all: the two sides do not look the same. The left is longer and less blended than the right. So it isn't perfect, but that's what happens when you pay $20 for a haircut. I don't really feel hot anymore, it feels more like Kathryn has, "cute" hair, not hot and sexy hair. However, even from just sitting here typing this, I am beginning to like it more and more. But it is different, it is imperfect, and it is still sort of painful.