Brandi Carlile, Turpentine
I watch you grow away from me in photographs
And memories like spies
And salt betrays my eyes again
I started losing sleep and gaining weight
And wishing I was was ten again
So I could be your friend again
These days we go to waste like wine
That's turned to turpentine
It's six AM and I'm all messed up
I didn't mean to waste your time
So I'll fall back in line
But I'm warning you we're growing up
I heard you found some pretty words to say
You found your little game to play
and there's no one allowed in
Then just when we believe we could be great
Reality it permeates
And conquers from within again
These days we go to waste like wine
That's turned to turpentine
It's six AM and I'm all messed up
I didn't mean to waste your time
So I'll fall back in line
But I'm warning you we're growing up
We're OK I know we're OK
These days we go to waste like wine
That's turned to turpentine
It's six AM and I'm all messed up
I didn't mean to waste your time
So I'll fall back in line
But I'm warning you we're growing up
[Turpentine Lyrics on
http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]
--
http://crackle.com/c/Scrambler/The_Concretes_-_'Kids'/1813649/#ml=o%3D15%26fc%3D26%26fx%3D
Monday, December 31, 2007
Friday, December 28, 2007
After Jane []
After Jane, Joan Osborne (yep she's bi)
--
I can’t laugh
I can’t moan
I can’t leave myself alone
After Jane
After Jane
I was hers
She was mine
We were together all the time
Oh, my Jane
Oh, my Jane
Maybe it’s the right thing, and maybe it’s wrong
You know I lay awake and wonder all night long
Maybe it’s over and maybe we’re free
You know this lonely feelin’ is drownin’ me
Will I rise up again?
Will I ever know a friend, like my Jane?
Oh, my Jane
Maybe it’s the right thing and maybe it’s wrong
You know I lay awake and wonder all night long
Maybe it’s over and maybe it’s not
You know this lonely feelin’ is all I got
Will I rise up again?
Will I ever know a friend, like my Jane?
Oh, my Jane
After Jane
After Jane
Oh, my Jane
Oh, my Jane
After Jane
--
I can’t laugh
I can’t moan
I can’t leave myself alone
After Jane
After Jane
I was hers
She was mine
We were together all the time
Oh, my Jane
Oh, my Jane
Maybe it’s the right thing, and maybe it’s wrong
You know I lay awake and wonder all night long
Maybe it’s over and maybe we’re free
You know this lonely feelin’ is drownin’ me
Will I rise up again?
Will I ever know a friend, like my Jane?
Oh, my Jane
Maybe it’s the right thing and maybe it’s wrong
You know I lay awake and wonder all night long
Maybe it’s over and maybe it’s not
You know this lonely feelin’ is all I got
Will I rise up again?
Will I ever know a friend, like my Jane?
Oh, my Jane
After Jane
After Jane
Oh, my Jane
Oh, my Jane
After Jane
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Kimya Dawson, Juno
So I am so excited about the movie Juno and even more excited about Kimya Dawson and the fact that she did a significant portion of the music. Finally one of "those" movies that finally features the quirky girl as the main character instead of some stupid side kick that helps the straight white guy solve all of his problems (read Eternal Sunshine, Garden State etc...) So hopefully these vids work!
--
--
--
--
--
--
Are You Alright, Lucinda Williams-West
Good stuff here...
--
Are you alright?
All the sudden you went away.
Are you alright?
I hope you come back around someday.
Are you alright?
I haven't seen you in a real long time.
Are you alright?
Could you give me some kind of sign.
Are you alright?
I looked around me and you were gone.
Are you alright?
I feel like there must be something wrong.
Are you alright?
'Cause it seems like you disappeared.
Are you alright?
'Cause I been feeling a little scared.
Are you alright?
Chorus:
Are you sleeping through the night?
Do you have someone to hold you tight?
Do you have someone to hang out with?
Do you have someone to hug and kiss you,
Hug and kiss you,Hug and kiss you?
Are you alright?
Are you alright?
Is there something been bothering you?
Are you alright?
I wish you'd give me a little clue.
Are you alright?
Is there something you wanna say?
Are you alright?
Just tell me that you're okay.
Are you alright?
'Cause you took off without a word.
Are you alright?
You flew away like a little bird.
Are you alright?
Is there anything I can do?
Are you alright?
'Cause I need to hear from you.
Are you alright?
Chorus
Are you alright?
Are you alright?
Hey...
Good stuff here...
--
Are you alright?
All the sudden you went away.
Are you alright?
I hope you come back around someday.
Are you alright?
I haven't seen you in a real long time.
Are you alright?
Could you give me some kind of sign.
Are you alright?
I looked around me and you were gone.
Are you alright?
I feel like there must be something wrong.
Are you alright?
'Cause it seems like you disappeared.
Are you alright?
'Cause I been feeling a little scared.
Are you alright?
Chorus:
Are you sleeping through the night?
Do you have someone to hold you tight?
Do you have someone to hang out with?
Do you have someone to hug and kiss you,
Hug and kiss you,Hug and kiss you?
Are you alright?
Are you alright?
Is there something been bothering you?
Are you alright?
I wish you'd give me a little clue.
Are you alright?
Is there something you wanna say?
Are you alright?
Just tell me that you're okay.
Are you alright?
'Cause you took off without a word.
Are you alright?
You flew away like a little bird.
Are you alright?
Is there anything I can do?
Are you alright?
'Cause I need to hear from you.
Are you alright?
Chorus
Are you alright?
Are you alright?
Hey...
Monday, December 24, 2007
What should we give up for someone else...or for love
"Because it is Christmas and at Christmas you tell the truth..." Love Actually, my all time favorite Christmas movie along with the Family Stone...
So I am watching Love Actually and as most of my thoughts usually stem from some piece of media these thoughts stem from this one. My Christmas champagne is bubbling over in the glass and the movie has just began, the opening lines coming from Hugh Grant, "Love actually is all around..." cut to music.
Why this movie...because it is bittersweet. It is real. Maybe not realistic but the emotions it inspires and elicits are both joyous and yet melancholy at the same time, making it real. It seems to bring up the images of lone trees that my mother collects which are hopeful for their survival and yet lonely because they are well alone in the wilderness...and this is often how people feel on holidays. This is the most wonderful time of the year, but not for everyone. Not for the poor who have commercialism thrown down their throats, not those who have recently lost family/friends/pets and have a constant reminder that that entity will not be present for the festivities, nor those who have been through rough break-ups, divorces, periods of growth, transition, and change. For those people the holidays are bittersweet, we are supposed to be happy, but are we supposed to push away our normal everyday feelings in order to make merry during the holiday season? We can't and so we push forth into the holidays with glass of cheap bubbly in hand hoping to combat our angst, guilt, and fear by gorging ourselves on overcooked food, and burying ourselves in holiday cheer.
Back to the movie...why I love it so much. This movie is about people who some get what they want and some don't, but in the end things work out the way they are supposed to or at least for the best at the present time. And it speaks to me because some of them do not do what is best for themselves but what is best for the situation or because they feel immense duty before their own happiness.
The art gallery director who is love with Juliet (Keira Knightley) is able to tell her how he really feels but knows that he isn't going to hurt his best friend or break up their marriage (not yet anyway...). But he gives up his love for her for the best of the situation-he is willing to do that and it is admirable. He doesn't do what makes him happy, he does what appeases his emotions by telling her in the cutest way possible.
Second example Laura Linny's character who when given the chance to sleep with the hot guy in her office decides that she can't because she has to answer the phone from her brother and be there for him in the way he needs. It is sad to see the sacrifice happen-but I think that is a truth that happens. People give up their own desires for happiness in order to do what they see as obligation and duty and I also think that is admirable-sad yes-but admirable also...
So what should we give up or not for someone else or for love-even if that love is platonic or familial and should we give up our own happiness for the well-being of someone else. In certain situations I honestly think we should to an extent. In this society of "do what makes you happy," "do what's best for YOU" it is surprising to find the antithesis of this. And I think it is this melancholia that really describes what the holidays mean for some people...
So I am watching Love Actually and as most of my thoughts usually stem from some piece of media these thoughts stem from this one. My Christmas champagne is bubbling over in the glass and the movie has just began, the opening lines coming from Hugh Grant, "Love actually is all around..." cut to music.
Why this movie...because it is bittersweet. It is real. Maybe not realistic but the emotions it inspires and elicits are both joyous and yet melancholy at the same time, making it real. It seems to bring up the images of lone trees that my mother collects which are hopeful for their survival and yet lonely because they are well alone in the wilderness...and this is often how people feel on holidays. This is the most wonderful time of the year, but not for everyone. Not for the poor who have commercialism thrown down their throats, not those who have recently lost family/friends/pets and have a constant reminder that that entity will not be present for the festivities, nor those who have been through rough break-ups, divorces, periods of growth, transition, and change. For those people the holidays are bittersweet, we are supposed to be happy, but are we supposed to push away our normal everyday feelings in order to make merry during the holiday season? We can't and so we push forth into the holidays with glass of cheap bubbly in hand hoping to combat our angst, guilt, and fear by gorging ourselves on overcooked food, and burying ourselves in holiday cheer.
Back to the movie...why I love it so much. This movie is about people who some get what they want and some don't, but in the end things work out the way they are supposed to or at least for the best at the present time. And it speaks to me because some of them do not do what is best for themselves but what is best for the situation or because they feel immense duty before their own happiness.
The art gallery director who is love with Juliet (Keira Knightley) is able to tell her how he really feels but knows that he isn't going to hurt his best friend or break up their marriage (not yet anyway...). But he gives up his love for her for the best of the situation-he is willing to do that and it is admirable. He doesn't do what makes him happy, he does what appeases his emotions by telling her in the cutest way possible.
Second example Laura Linny's character who when given the chance to sleep with the hot guy in her office decides that she can't because she has to answer the phone from her brother and be there for him in the way he needs. It is sad to see the sacrifice happen-but I think that is a truth that happens. People give up their own desires for happiness in order to do what they see as obligation and duty and I also think that is admirable-sad yes-but admirable also...
So what should we give up or not for someone else or for love-even if that love is platonic or familial and should we give up our own happiness for the well-being of someone else. In certain situations I honestly think we should to an extent. In this society of "do what makes you happy," "do what's best for YOU" it is surprising to find the antithesis of this. And I think it is this melancholia that really describes what the holidays mean for some people...
I received this e-mail today and I just think it is really neat that a member of my program is running for Kenyan parliament!
--
Kenya will hold parliamentary elections on Thurday, December 27th. Our own Karambu Ringera (PhD '07) will be running for a seat in North Imenti. The 2007 Kenyan General Election has the highest number of women political aspirants ever witnessed in the country's history.
Karambu, we send you our greetings and best wishes for success!
For more information, visit:
http://karambu.com/index.php
--
Kenya will hold parliamentary elections on Thurday, December 27th. Our own Karambu Ringera (PhD '07) will be running for a seat in North Imenti. The 2007 Kenyan General Election has the highest number of women political aspirants ever witnessed in the country's history.
Karambu, we send you our greetings and best wishes for success!
For more information, visit:
http://karambu.com/index.php
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Blades of Glory and other stupid white straight men's attempts at comedy...
Since most of my friends are currently gallivanting around the Midwest with their hometown friends and families I am happily stuck at home watching ridiculously stupid movies and some surprisingly good ones too. So here's a movie I hated and a movie I loved both in the same vein of "Guy Flick" featuring straight, white, guys and their attempts at humor.
Blades of Glory
No surprise here, this movie is in the negative range as far as stars go. So why did I expect more, well as a avid Will Ferrell fan and one who laughed through pretty much all of Napolean Dynamite I was excited that this comic duo were involved in a movie together. But this movie is not at all in the same vein as say Anchor Man, or Old School-which have decent story lines amid the pot smoking, cussing, and nudey shots. However, not only is the plot line of Blades of Glory stupid and ridiculous (two guys get in a fight at a men's figure skating championship and are banned from the sport for life, thus, leaving them with the only reasonable solution: to become partners in the pairs figure skating competition), The sad thing is the entire movie relies on homophobic notions to be even remotely funny. The only reason a person could find it funny is that they think it is awkward to see two men in provocative bodily positions with one another. As a person who does not think two men holding hands, embracing, or putting their genitalia in each other's faces is anything to write home about, let alone laugh at I did not think the movie was funny at all and made me question my love for Ferrell as an actor. I mean I don't think he and the other straight white guys (Vince Vaughn, Steve Carrel, Ben Stiller, the Owen Brothers etc...) are as actively racist, homophobic, and sexist as they appear on camera. I think these movies are social commentary on "guy" culture, but at the same time they completely reaffirm everything it means to be male while being complete pigs to their female movie co-stars. In say for example Wedding Crashers-the guys who crash weddings in order to get laid make themselves look very good while making the women they sleep with appear crazy, incompetent, and often not worth their time. It bugs me that in order to get laughs these guys rely on such sexist, racist, and homophobic humor, when the simple stoned/drunk jokes about penis size can suffice quite nicely. Thus we turn to...
Knocked Up
Now much of the same stuff I just wrote about Blades of Glory could be applied to Knocked Up but it steps ahead because at least it has a good plot line, and the guy stops being a complete idiot by the end of the movie giving it that slightly more romanticized notion of guy-ness and "guy" culture. Much in the way that the 40-Year-Old Virgin starts as guys getting stoned and wasted and searching for hot chicks to hook up with and turns into a kind of revealing story about one guy who just hasn't wanted to give it up that easily and is actually searching for not just a hook-up but someone he actually cares about so is Knocked Up.
Basic plot line-Ben(goofball from Canada, not the most good looking, definite huge stoner, doesn't have a job but thinks that he and his friends have struck it rich in developing a website that tells when nude scenes happen in movies) meets Alison (a successful, attractive, woman working at E! ) one night at a bar. The two are an unlikely pair, however, Ben's charming demeanor and smooth lines kind of get Alison interested and eventually the end up dancing and then going back to her place for one-night-standville. A miscommunication keeps Ben from putting on the condom and they have completely unprotected sex, which I find unlikely, but without it the plot would die right then and there. They end up pregnant but instead of just deciding to keep the baby and their separate lives, they try to make a go of it. It of course doesn't work out immediately because they are really different and can't always communicate with one another, but after Ben decides to move out of his house (with his equally disgusting roommates), get a real job at a website developer, and "read the baby books," he is able to help Alison cope with her pregnancy and really just steps up his game like 10 fold! In the end they wind up together with their baby and everything is kind of la la la la la.
I really liked this movie because Ben realizes the errors of his ways in "guyville" and decides to make a change. It also shows that opposite people with opposite personalities can make things work but they have to compromise and communicate. And sometimes when a baby is involved there is more at stake than just a failed relationship. I like this movie because it takes a nonchalant guy who is just busy doin his thing and gives him a real life mini crisis to work through and figure out. It also shows how guys like this can get to the pretty, smart, successful woman who is "never attracted to guys like that" and shows how she deals with that. And there are some really funny scenes too-dancing at the club, Vegas, the bath tub, several to pick from. And they make it in the end which, is the true test of comedy. I give this movie four stars for pure entertainment value without relying solely on degrading humor to make the movie funny!
Blades of Glory
No surprise here, this movie is in the negative range as far as stars go. So why did I expect more, well as a avid Will Ferrell fan and one who laughed through pretty much all of Napolean Dynamite I was excited that this comic duo were involved in a movie together. But this movie is not at all in the same vein as say Anchor Man, or Old School-which have decent story lines amid the pot smoking, cussing, and nudey shots. However, not only is the plot line of Blades of Glory stupid and ridiculous (two guys get in a fight at a men's figure skating championship and are banned from the sport for life, thus, leaving them with the only reasonable solution: to become partners in the pairs figure skating competition), The sad thing is the entire movie relies on homophobic notions to be even remotely funny. The only reason a person could find it funny is that they think it is awkward to see two men in provocative bodily positions with one another. As a person who does not think two men holding hands, embracing, or putting their genitalia in each other's faces is anything to write home about, let alone laugh at I did not think the movie was funny at all and made me question my love for Ferrell as an actor. I mean I don't think he and the other straight white guys (Vince Vaughn, Steve Carrel, Ben Stiller, the Owen Brothers etc...) are as actively racist, homophobic, and sexist as they appear on camera. I think these movies are social commentary on "guy" culture, but at the same time they completely reaffirm everything it means to be male while being complete pigs to their female movie co-stars. In say for example Wedding Crashers-the guys who crash weddings in order to get laid make themselves look very good while making the women they sleep with appear crazy, incompetent, and often not worth their time. It bugs me that in order to get laughs these guys rely on such sexist, racist, and homophobic humor, when the simple stoned/drunk jokes about penis size can suffice quite nicely. Thus we turn to...
Knocked Up
Now much of the same stuff I just wrote about Blades of Glory could be applied to Knocked Up but it steps ahead because at least it has a good plot line, and the guy stops being a complete idiot by the end of the movie giving it that slightly more romanticized notion of guy-ness and "guy" culture. Much in the way that the 40-Year-Old Virgin starts as guys getting stoned and wasted and searching for hot chicks to hook up with and turns into a kind of revealing story about one guy who just hasn't wanted to give it up that easily and is actually searching for not just a hook-up but someone he actually cares about so is Knocked Up.
Basic plot line-Ben(goofball from Canada, not the most good looking, definite huge stoner, doesn't have a job but thinks that he and his friends have struck it rich in developing a website that tells when nude scenes happen in movies) meets Alison (a successful, attractive, woman working at E! ) one night at a bar. The two are an unlikely pair, however, Ben's charming demeanor and smooth lines kind of get Alison interested and eventually the end up dancing and then going back to her place for one-night-standville. A miscommunication keeps Ben from putting on the condom and they have completely unprotected sex, which I find unlikely, but without it the plot would die right then and there. They end up pregnant but instead of just deciding to keep the baby and their separate lives, they try to make a go of it. It of course doesn't work out immediately because they are really different and can't always communicate with one another, but after Ben decides to move out of his house (with his equally disgusting roommates), get a real job at a website developer, and "read the baby books," he is able to help Alison cope with her pregnancy and really just steps up his game like 10 fold! In the end they wind up together with their baby and everything is kind of la la la la la.
I really liked this movie because Ben realizes the errors of his ways in "guyville" and decides to make a change. It also shows that opposite people with opposite personalities can make things work but they have to compromise and communicate. And sometimes when a baby is involved there is more at stake than just a failed relationship. I like this movie because it takes a nonchalant guy who is just busy doin his thing and gives him a real life mini crisis to work through and figure out. It also shows how guys like this can get to the pretty, smart, successful woman who is "never attracted to guys like that" and shows how she deals with that. And there are some really funny scenes too-dancing at the club, Vegas, the bath tub, several to pick from. And they make it in the end which, is the true test of comedy. I give this movie four stars for pure entertainment value without relying solely on degrading humor to make the movie funny!
Saturday, December 22, 2007
www.elfyourself.com
I am just saying that this website truly made me giggle! I am sure everyone has already heard of it/done it but it really is just amazingly funny! You can upload pictures of yourself, your family, your friends, but what is really funny is the end when they commence doing their funny little jig. So If you want something to do virtually beside read my blog go to www.elfyourself.com sponsored by OfficeMax and give yourself a little holiday cheer!
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Christmas Survey
1 . Wrapping paper or gift bags? I like tissue paper-i just wrap everything crappily in tissue paper
2. Real tree or artificial? Real I live in the mountains...
3. When do you put up the tree? My family puts up between 1-4 trees every year starting after Dec. 11
4. When do you take the tree down? Usually the first week of Jan
5. Do you like eggnog? Yes especially with whiskey
6. Favorite gift received as a child? My Barbie House/car
7. Do you have a Nativity scene? Yes but it is made of animals
8. Hardest person to buy for? Prolly my dad and step mother they are super snobby
9. Easiest person to buy for? My mom-she likes everything I give her
10. Worst Christmas Gift you ever received? This weird brown outfit from my mom one year-I love the clothes she buys me except at Christmas time
11. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail holiday cards
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? White Christmas, National Lampoons, or Home Alone
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Last weekend
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? I have or I use gift cards I got for my birthday to buy others presents
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? I am not a huge fan of holiday food-The Melange Platter
16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Color
17. Favorite Christmas song? All of them, but I have a special place in my heart for Dominick the Donkey, Grown Up Christmas List, and Mistletoe
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Travel the past five years but this one I'm already here and everyone else is leaving-that's kind of weird
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? yes - dasher, dancer, prancer, vixen, comet, cupid, donner, blitzen and the most famous reindeer of all, Rudolph
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? We had this gold wreath thing for years now we have like a Las Vegas Star
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Eve for extended fam (grammas and such) and Morn for immediate fam (mom, Santa, bro and sis)
22. Favorite Christmas cookie? Sour Cream Sugar, but my fam is really famous for their candy...it is soooooo good
2. Real tree or artificial? Real I live in the mountains...
3. When do you put up the tree? My family puts up between 1-4 trees every year starting after Dec. 11
4. When do you take the tree down? Usually the first week of Jan
5. Do you like eggnog? Yes especially with whiskey
6. Favorite gift received as a child? My Barbie House/car
7. Do you have a Nativity scene? Yes but it is made of animals
8. Hardest person to buy for? Prolly my dad and step mother they are super snobby
9. Easiest person to buy for? My mom-she likes everything I give her
10. Worst Christmas Gift you ever received? This weird brown outfit from my mom one year-I love the clothes she buys me except at Christmas time
11. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail holiday cards
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? White Christmas, National Lampoons, or Home Alone
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Last weekend
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? I have or I use gift cards I got for my birthday to buy others presents
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? I am not a huge fan of holiday food-The Melange Platter
16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Color
17. Favorite Christmas song? All of them, but I have a special place in my heart for Dominick the Donkey, Grown Up Christmas List, and Mistletoe
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Travel the past five years but this one I'm already here and everyone else is leaving-that's kind of weird
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? yes - dasher, dancer, prancer, vixen, comet, cupid, donner, blitzen and the most famous reindeer of all, Rudolph
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? We had this gold wreath thing for years now we have like a Las Vegas Star
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Eve for extended fam (grammas and such) and Morn for immediate fam (mom, Santa, bro and sis)
22. Favorite Christmas cookie? Sour Cream Sugar, but my fam is really famous for their candy...it is soooooo good
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
2 ani songs for my mood
Ani Difranco - Napoleon Lyrics
they told you your musiccould reach millions
that the choice was up to you
you told me they always
pay for lunch
and they believe in what i do
and i wonder
if you miss your old friends
once you've proven what you're worth
yeah i wonder
when you're a big star
will you miss the earth
and i know you would always want more
i know you would never be done
'cuz everyone is a fucking napoleon
yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon
and the next time
that i saw you
you were larger than life
you came and you conquered
you were doing alright
you had an army
of suits behind you
and all you had to be was willing
and i said i still
make a pretty good living
you must make a killing
a killing
and i hope that you are happy
i hope at least you are having fun
'cuz but everyone is a fucking napoleon
yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon
now you think, so that is
the way it's gonna be
that's what this is all about
i think that that is
the way it always was
you chose not to notice until now
yeah now that there's a problem
you call me up to confide
and you go on for over an hour
'bout each one that took you for a ride
and i guess that you dialed my number
'cuz you thought for sure that i'd agree
i said baby, you know i still love you
but how dare you complain to me
everyone is a fucking napoleon
yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon
--
"Gratitude"
thank you
for letting me stay here
thank you for taking me in
thank you
for the beer and the food
thank you
for loaning me bus fare
thank you for showing me around
that was a very kind thing to do
thank you
for the use of the clean towel
thank you for half of your bed
we can sleep here like brother and sister,
you said
but you changed the rules
in an hour or two
and I don't know what you
and your sisters do
but please don't
please stop
this is not my obligation
what does my body have to do
with my gratitude?
look at you
little white lying
for the purpose of justifying
what you're trying to do
I know that you feel my resistance
I know that you heard what I said
otherwise you wouldn't need the excuse
thank you
for letting me stay here
thank you for taking me in
I don't know where else
I would have turned
but I don't come and go
like a pop song
that you can play incessantly
and then foget when it's gone
you can't write me off
and you don't turn me on
so don't change the rules
in an hour or two
I don't know what you and your
sisters do
but please don't
please stop
this is not my obligation
what does my body have to do
with my gratitude?
Friday, December 14, 2007
I am sick of being sick
So I am lying here in bed coughing up a lung and I am totally tired of being sick and not being able to get better. Ever since earlier this year when I got the stomach flu something terrible I have not been able to physically recover. Now it's like any time I come into contact with germs, which, is pretty much every minute of my life since I work wit small children who all have green goo coming out of all of their orifices, I get ill and can't get over it. I have had this sinus infection, bronchitis thing for weeks ad weeks now, and I continue to use my Sinucleanse, drink tea and Emergen-C, I eat oranges, try to eat healthy in general, but nothing seems to help. But I know antibiotics are over prescribed and I am sick of taking them and suffering the side effects of them also, but I am getting to the point where my ears hurt, and my head feels likes it will explode from the snotty pressury build up going on. Of course my mom recommends whiskey, lemon juice, and honey, so I am laying here sipping what I can trying to let the whiskey warm over my soul and lungs in order to finally fall asleep while watching Polar Express on a cold winters eve. ..
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
delilah on KOSI 101
So in the spirit of the christmas season and all i decided that i must blog about something or really someone who drives me batty during the holidays. Now I for one am not opposed to the occasional stint of "easy listening" music and especially during the present time (x-mas and all) I am a fan of the Christmas power ballad, carol, and church song like the nest person-but I hate the Christian bull-shit wrapping paper it tends to come in on KOSI 101 with Delilah on Denver radio. And as with all good christian things i am sure it is syndicated and broadcast throughout the greater 50 nifty U.S. states and probably the world at large. SO everyone and their mom can hear her crooning annoyance like 8 p.m. on. For example and personally I found this hilarious and yet so sad at the same time on Sunday night she had a great call from a man who wanted to offer her a little piece of his mind.
(gist of the convo)
Delilah- Hi (insert name here) what do you have on your mind?
Caller-"I was just thinking about the comments you (Delilah) were making about soul mates earlier and I was just thinking how neat it would be if we could expand what the concept of soul mate means. I mean it just doesn't fit modern ideas of love and what if we could incorporate our parents, children, and the many people we meet on our journey through life into our idea of soul mate so that we don't just place everything we have into one other person.
(Inside I am doing a happy dance because I totally believe that we should not put all our notions of love in one basket-especially romantic-for although I believe in love and its greatness and power- I also believe that expecting one single person to fulfill our needs is slightly ridiculous and sets us up for disappointment. And here is this super cute guy just pouring out his heart and really setting up some interesting sparks of discussion)
and what does she respond...
Delilah- Well the idea of soul mates really comes from the Bible and the Old Testament where supposedly two souls are joined in heaven and then you are split apart and born and if you are lucky enough you will find the other part of your soul somewhere in the world.
(Inside I am barfing just a little...)
Caller- Yes I know but I just really think that doesn't fit modern notions of love-most people are married more than once and many of us find greatest satisfaction with those we are not romantically involved in.
and she responds...
Delilah-Well that's a neat idea. You sound like a really neat guy. You take care now. (as though she could not get him off the phone fast enough.)
And I feel that the caller made a very good point and not just because of what he was saying but the way he was saying it. He may have been an academic of some sort but really he sounded like kind of a younger normal guy who just thought that the emphasis we place on romantic love in this culture is a wee bit disconcerting.
And I really like the idea that the friends I meet on my journey are my soul mates-I mean in the end this is eve the main point of Sex and the City and what gives it a feminist-not post-feminist edge. "What if we are each other's soul mates and the guys we meet are just a part of that" a side dish of sorts? Because I really feel my friends are my soul mates-and while lovers may come and go it is my friends/family who really make life amazing. And when you find love that is also this amazing friendship that is when I think you have a true gem.
And instead of giving him the time of day because he didn't fit into her nice little christian ethic box, he was dismissed. Not dialog, no discussion. Just a "You're neat" dripping thick with sarcasm like the raspberry sauce on top of my chocolate molten cake from dinner. And this pisses me off. Yes I agree with the caller, but it is also much much more than that. No one should be quoted a Bible verse as though they are an idiot just because their opinion is different-just as someone who believes in the Bible should not be dismissed because they do so. But we need to keep the communication lines open because if we shut off possibility for dialog we shut off everything....
(gist of the convo)
Delilah- Hi (insert name here) what do you have on your mind?
Caller-"I was just thinking about the comments you (Delilah) were making about soul mates earlier and I was just thinking how neat it would be if we could expand what the concept of soul mate means. I mean it just doesn't fit modern ideas of love and what if we could incorporate our parents, children, and the many people we meet on our journey through life into our idea of soul mate so that we don't just place everything we have into one other person.
(Inside I am doing a happy dance because I totally believe that we should not put all our notions of love in one basket-especially romantic-for although I believe in love and its greatness and power- I also believe that expecting one single person to fulfill our needs is slightly ridiculous and sets us up for disappointment. And here is this super cute guy just pouring out his heart and really setting up some interesting sparks of discussion)
and what does she respond...
Delilah- Well the idea of soul mates really comes from the Bible and the Old Testament where supposedly two souls are joined in heaven and then you are split apart and born and if you are lucky enough you will find the other part of your soul somewhere in the world.
(Inside I am barfing just a little...)
Caller- Yes I know but I just really think that doesn't fit modern notions of love-most people are married more than once and many of us find greatest satisfaction with those we are not romantically involved in.
and she responds...
Delilah-Well that's a neat idea. You sound like a really neat guy. You take care now. (as though she could not get him off the phone fast enough.)
And I feel that the caller made a very good point and not just because of what he was saying but the way he was saying it. He may have been an academic of some sort but really he sounded like kind of a younger normal guy who just thought that the emphasis we place on romantic love in this culture is a wee bit disconcerting.
And I really like the idea that the friends I meet on my journey are my soul mates-I mean in the end this is eve the main point of Sex and the City and what gives it a feminist-not post-feminist edge. "What if we are each other's soul mates and the guys we meet are just a part of that" a side dish of sorts? Because I really feel my friends are my soul mates-and while lovers may come and go it is my friends/family who really make life amazing. And when you find love that is also this amazing friendship that is when I think you have a true gem.
And instead of giving him the time of day because he didn't fit into her nice little christian ethic box, he was dismissed. Not dialog, no discussion. Just a "You're neat" dripping thick with sarcasm like the raspberry sauce on top of my chocolate molten cake from dinner. And this pisses me off. Yes I agree with the caller, but it is also much much more than that. No one should be quoted a Bible verse as though they are an idiot just because their opinion is different-just as someone who believes in the Bible should not be dismissed because they do so. But we need to keep the communication lines open because if we shut off possibility for dialog we shut off everything....
Sunday, December 9, 2007
blog description...
This is the description of my blog...
This is my blog about me A white, middle class (by default), queer bisexual lesbian, in graduate school, assistant director of a small preschool who lives with her mother, stepfather, adopted sister, great grandmother, and occasional niece and nephew in a quiet little mountain town. This is what comedy is made of people...
This is my blog about me A white, middle class (by default), queer bisexual lesbian, in graduate school, assistant director of a small preschool who lives with her mother, stepfather, adopted sister, great grandmother, and occasional niece and nephew in a quiet little mountain town. This is what comedy is made of people...
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Oh Degrassi
I thought it would be fun to take some silly Degrassi quizzes cuz I love that show...it's kind of silly but they do deal with some serious issues and the issues do not always get resolved-they carry over to different episodes. Plus they have gay and lesbian characters (even if it only lasted like a hour...) and they deal with cutting, rape (in a couple of ways) school shootings, suicide, cheating, family issues and relationships. But my favorite thing is that it really deals with friends and creating and maintaining those despite everything else.
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Friday, December 7, 2007
Oh I Wish I was a Punk Rocker
OH how I love this song...
It makes my heart happy-thanks Mama Drea for exposing me...
--
I Wish I was a Punk Rocker (With Flowers in my Hair), Sandi Thom
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In '77 and '69 revolution was in the air
I was born too late into a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
When the head of state didn't play guitar
Not everybody drove a car
When music really mattered and when radio was king
When accountants didn't have control
And the media couldn't buy your soul
And computers were still scary and we didn't know everything
[Chorus]
When pop stars still remained a myth
And ignorance could still be bliss
And when god saved the queen she turned a whiter shade of pale
My mom and dad were in their teens
And anarchy was still a dream
And the only way to stay in touch was a letter in the mail
[Chorus]
When record shops were still on top
And vinyl was all that they stocked
And the super info highway was still drifting out in space
Kids were wearing hand me downs
And playing games meant kick arounds
And footballers still had long hair and dirt across their face
[Chorus]
I was born too late into a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
It makes my heart happy-thanks Mama Drea for exposing me...
--
I Wish I was a Punk Rocker (With Flowers in my Hair), Sandi Thom
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In '77 and '69 revolution was in the air
I was born too late into a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
When the head of state didn't play guitar
Not everybody drove a car
When music really mattered and when radio was king
When accountants didn't have control
And the media couldn't buy your soul
And computers were still scary and we didn't know everything
[Chorus]
When pop stars still remained a myth
And ignorance could still be bliss
And when god saved the queen she turned a whiter shade of pale
My mom and dad were in their teens
And anarchy was still a dream
And the only way to stay in touch was a letter in the mail
[Chorus]
When record shops were still on top
And vinyl was all that they stocked
And the super info highway was still drifting out in space
Kids were wearing hand me downs
And playing games meant kick arounds
And footballers still had long hair and dirt across their face
[Chorus]
I was born too late into a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Ah ha ha ha ha ha
So today I was informed that I indeed got a scholarship to attend DU!!! Now I just have to be enrolled full time in school instead of part-time, which is fine! I am in definite need of a break from the preschool which, it looks like I will get every Monday and Weds so I can be on campus-WHOOT! I definitely do not need to be working full-time when school is in my future and they are willing to give me money! YAY!!! Such good news!!!
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Just to clarify...
"The Lesbian Phallacy" is a play on words of the Lesbian Phallus a work by Judith Butler which builds on the psychoanalytic theories on Sigmund Freud.
As Butler suggests, “If the phallus is an imaginary effect (which is reified as the privileged signifier of the symbolic order), then its structural place is no longer determined by the logical relation of mutual exclusion entailed by a heterosexist version of sexual difference in which men are said to ‘have’ and women to ‘be’ the phallus” (Bodies That Matter 88).
Although the phallus is an imaginary signifier of power there are material benefits to possessing one and thus, it is also privileged. The Lesbian Phallus refers to a redistribution and rearticulation of modes of power often denied to those people (women, the gays, people of color) in order to subvert the dominant white, heterosexist, capitalist, patriarchy.
So anyway my blogs tend to focus on modalities of power and the ways they play out in relationships of all sorts. I tend to make observations with analysis (not judgment) in order to describe "once ocurrant acts of being" that tend to reify or subvert dominant modes of power. The Lesbian Phallacy is my blog which, deals with my own subjective place in the understandings of power-and I just thought it was clever...
As Butler suggests, “If the phallus is an imaginary effect (which is reified as the privileged signifier of the symbolic order), then its structural place is no longer determined by the logical relation of mutual exclusion entailed by a heterosexist version of sexual difference in which men are said to ‘have’ and women to ‘be’ the phallus” (Bodies That Matter 88).
Although the phallus is an imaginary signifier of power there are material benefits to possessing one and thus, it is also privileged. The Lesbian Phallus refers to a redistribution and rearticulation of modes of power often denied to those people (women, the gays, people of color) in order to subvert the dominant white, heterosexist, capitalist, patriarchy.
So anyway my blogs tend to focus on modalities of power and the ways they play out in relationships of all sorts. I tend to make observations with analysis (not judgment) in order to describe "once ocurrant acts of being" that tend to reify or subvert dominant modes of power. The Lesbian Phallacy is my blog which, deals with my own subjective place in the understandings of power-and I just thought it was clever...
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Welcome to my new space
Since my break-up with Smalls I have decided to delete my Myspace profile. I loved Myspace but felt that for my own sanity that I just needed to leave for awhile. It was getting much too intense and passive aggressive on the break up front. It was really the last straw when a friend I hadn't spoken to in about a year already knew the new girl's name that I was dating and that it was controversy causing within my group of friends. There was no way she would have known if it wasn't for my ex telling a friend who told her ex who happened to be my friend. It was just much too weird and I decided a mental health break from the fake yet ever so real on-line community just wasn't necessary for my life.
But alas I missed the said faux reality of on-line life and felt the real pull to write in a space that can be designated for public viewing and what-not. I miss writing and I am sad because I dismissed my profile without copying my previous blogs which makes me kind of sad. But at the same time I have decided that letting go of my myspace as well as my old blogs is a way of letting go of my past and moving on to my future. Not that I want to dismiss my previous friends and experiences but just that I want to be open to new possibilities and experiences and friends and not be bogged down by past baggage.
So welcome...here goes nothing...
But alas I missed the said faux reality of on-line life and felt the real pull to write in a space that can be designated for public viewing and what-not. I miss writing and I am sad because I dismissed my profile without copying my previous blogs which makes me kind of sad. But at the same time I have decided that letting go of my myspace as well as my old blogs is a way of letting go of my past and moving on to my future. Not that I want to dismiss my previous friends and experiences but just that I want to be open to new possibilities and experiences and friends and not be bogged down by past baggage.
So welcome...here goes nothing...
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