Swan Dive and Iowa

I hadn't heard this song but coincidentally I heard it the week leading up to AND at the Madison Progressive 100th Anniversary concert.  It's Swan Dive by Ani DiFranco.  I have been under a lot of pressure lately and this song helps me to deal with it.  Kathryn do this, Kathryn write this paper, work at this job, teach this class, work this job...argh!  You know the drill-sometimes people expect too much and you just have to live for yourself-jump from the high place and feel the cool breeze on your face as you fly instead of sink.  I just have to remember to be true to myself-do what I think I need to do and not what others think I should do.  And I have to keep my principles strong, balanced but radical.  So this is my song to myself.  Yay!

Swan Dive: Ani Difranco:

cradling the softest, warmest part of you in my hand
feels like a little baby bird fallen from the nest
i think that your body is something i understand
i think that i'm happy, i think that i'm blessed

i've got a lack of inhibition
i've got a loss of perspective
i've had a little bit to drink
and it's making me think
that i can jump ship and swim
that the ocean will hold me
that there's got to be more
than this boat i'm in

'cuz they can call me crazy if i fail
all the chance that i need
is one-in-a-million
and they can call me brilliant
if i succeed
gravity is nothing to me, moving at the speed of sound
i'm just going to get my feet wet
until i drown

and i teeter between tired
and really, really tired
im wiped and im wired but i guess its just as well
because i built my own empire
out of car tires and chicken wire
and i'm queen of my own compost heap
and i'm getting used to the smell

and i've got a lack of information
but i got a little revelation
and i'm climbing up on the railing
trying not to look down
i'm going to do my best swan dive
in the shark-infested waters
i'm gonna pull out my tampon 
and start splashing around

'cuz i don't care if they eat me alive
i've got better thing to do than survive
i've got a memory of your warm skin in my hand
and i've got a vision of blue sky and dry land

i'm cradling the hardest, heaviest part of me in my hand
the ship is pitching and heaving, my limbs are bobbing and weaving
and i think this is what i understand
i just need a little vaccination for my far-away vacation
i'm going to go ahead boldly because a little bird told me
that jumping is easy, that falling is fun
up until you hit the sidewalk, shivering, stunned

and they can call me crazy if i fail
all the chance that i need
is one-in-a-million
and they can call me brilliant
if i succeed
gravity is nothing to me
moving at the speed of sound
i'm just gonna get my feet wet
until i drown...

--

Iowa by Dar Williams is also something played at the Progressive show is a song I had purposely tried to avoid for various reasons. But then my wonderful colleague told me some things that made me think of this song.

I want to give it to her because of her current troubles. Plus how could this song not remind me of the midwest and Luther College. What a great place, what an awful place, what a place it was.

--

Iowa: Dar Wlliams

I've never had a way with women,
but the hills of Iowa make me wish that I could
And I've never found a way to say "I love you", 
but if the chance came by, oh, I, I would
But way back where I come from, we never mean to bother, 
we don't like to make our passions other people's concern
And we walk in the world of safe people, 
and at night we walk into our houses and burn.

(chorus:)
Iowa, Iowa, Iowa, Iowa, Iowa, Iowa, Iowa
Iowa, Iowa, Iowa, Iowa, Iowa, Iowa, Iowa

How I long to fall just a little bit, 
to dance out of the lines and stray from the light
But I fear that to fall in love with you 
is to fall from a great and gruesome height
So I asked a friend about it, on a bad day, 
her husband had just left her, she sat down on the chair he'd left behind
She said, "What is love? Where did it get me? 
Whoever thought of love is no friend of mine."

(chorus)

Once I had everything, I gave it up 
for the shoulder of your driveway and the words I've never felt
And so for you, I came this far across the tracks, 
ten miles above the limit and with no seatbelt (and I'd do it again)
For tonight I went running through the screen doors of discretion, 
for I woke up from a nightmare that I could not stand to see:
You were a-wandering out on the hills of Iowa 
and you were not thinking of me.

chorus

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