To My Big J

I have walked with many fathers

And none

You were one of them

You have given so much

to so many

And you are dearly loved

Thank you so much for all you have done

Even when I have been a pain in the ass

I promise to keep being smart in school

And keep getting A’s.

Love always,

Your Big K

I'd like to leave you with something valuable, he said. You probably already have, I said, but we take most of our lives to remember that, even in the best of times. Brian Andreas, “Best of Times.”

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My stepfather passed away today at 3:50, one year to the date that my grandmother passed away. I've declared that from now on this day should not exist on calendars and I plan to crack open a bottle of Shiraz and play cards (Shiraz for Jim and cards for he and my grandmother) and celebrate them both. They were both people of great faults but the love they showed for so many is something worth remembering. I will never forget Jim's smile, his "What do you say________?," His "Kathryn how are you" emphasis on the are, I will never forget the way he saved me and took care of my mother and I, how he liked the car to be really cold, how he owned a canoe he never used, how he and I could run a game of hearts really well when we partnered together, how he let pretty much any riff raff into the house, his positive energy, and that he never had to say I love you because really I just knew.

A friend of mine said he was an enlightened being and that he ascended. I like to believe that's true even if I don't believe much in that spiritual stuff. Because he did a lot of really good things for a lot of people.

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I have walked with many fathers and none

You were one of them

We walked together

Through some rough times

You and I

But we have always walked

Most places together

and I think in the end

That's what really matters

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