It's true, I'm bored

Alright, alright, alright. Two posts in one day? Really? REALLY? Yes, really. Ma'lady is on a business trip and I am home alone, which is fine. I don't mind being alone, it is just different than what I am used to. During the school year I am generally surrounded by people-colleagues, office-mates, students, professors and the multitude of people that pass in and out of my life (through yoga, my family, Yogurtland/Pinkberry, roommates etc.)

So when I am alone I do crazy things-like obsessively watch television. And that is where my blog post stems from...Hoarders. I know for anyone who has followed me on the FB that I have been watching this show. The first time I saw it, I almost threw up. I just couldn't imagine how anyone could live like that, especially in the homes that were just so filthy and disgusted. I became intrigued. I watched as many episodes as possible on HULU and A&E. I watched as so many opened their doors to camera crews, therapists, organizers, their families (many of the family members hadn't been in the houses for several years) and many others. The show is designed to target a hoarder and get them help for their problem. The problem being, they have too much stuff and their homes are no longer usable. What fascinated me most were the people who could no longer live in their homes and were living in motels, shelters, a tent etc. I mean how could someone's house me so full of stuff that they can no longer live inside it? I mean with so many not having homes, having one that can't be used, flabbergasted me.

Of course these are very Western and white standards of normalcy and upkeep of the home. As I continued watching, I became increasingly irritated with the psychologists and therapists who came into the homes of the "hoarders." Not that I don't think hoarding is an issue, it obviously takes a toll on people, their relationships, and their families. As people get older they cannot navigate their piles so it becomes a hazard. For small children, they were born into the hoard and their motor skills aren't strong enough to move around and they need places to play, so the hoard is a definite problem.

But, what is most fascinating, was my reaction. Ma'lady could tell you, my house became immediately organized. I became freaked out that my sometimes mess could turn into a definite hoard, which now I don't think it could have, I am really not that messy of a person. For some reason the show made an impact on me and I think some of this might come from the fact that I think I was living in a sorta hoarda in EP. My stepfather was a definite hoarder-he never threw anything away; this left my mother with a tremendous amount of stress upon his passing. But also, in my former relationship, we always had one room (or loft) that was just full of stuff. Upon retrieving my last load of stuff, I realized how bad it had really gotten. I don't know that either she or I were "hoarders" because the rest of the house was not bad, and my new house is spic-and-span pretty much all the time, but I think we had the tendencies that I am so glad to be out of.

I actually do not have a lot of attachment to things. What I would be sad if I lost: My great great grandmother's earrings, my grandma's locket, my step father's pocket watch, my books, and a couple of clothing items. Other than that, I do not have a lot of sentimentality for objects and actually really do not like knick-knacks and little things and am glad to not have a bunch of things. I rarely took physical photos, and the few I have are either neatly displayed or packed up in boxes. I just wonder how I let the room get so bad and if it was me? what I have sort of concluded is that I think for a while I did have a problem with buying too many things, a full-blown shopping addiction-no, I couldn't afford that, but I just bought too many things I didn't have space for. I have always lived in small places, but finally have a storage unit and enough closet space for all my things and it feels really nice. I don't buy things I don't need and I rarely buy any new clothes-they come from the thrift store when they come, which isn't too often.

Hoarders just made me more self-aware about my personal space and enjoying it being organized and clean. I think I had kind of been waiting for my grown-up person gene to kick in (not that I was so messy or dirty), but I think I was waiting for my desire to love cleaning and organization to set in and it just wasn't. I thought I just didn't value that in my life. What I really think, it took me some time, a different living environment, and a desire to want to enjoy where I live-and wanting that space to be a certain way. Anywho, thanks Hoarders for showing me what I do not want to be.